What to Say When Quitting a New Job

November 23, 2021

Resigning from a job is rarely fun – even if you know you're headed to a shiny, new, ethical job.

For most of us, it can be quite a daunting or even intimidating process. People often end up saying things they regret because they're angry, uncomfortable or nervous.

One solution is to do something like this:

I Quit YouTube Clip

But of course there's a good likelihood that your path might cross with your former manager or other colleagues in the future. If you're already working in the NFP sector, that likelihood is even higher, so it's even more important to leave in a professional way that leaves everyone feeling respected.

So if you'd prefer not to interpretive-dance your resignation, here's six steps to turn a potentially stressful discussion into a respectful departure:

1. Request a meeting

Chances are, your resignation is occurring because you're unhappy with something – perhaps you feel your boss is making work challenging, or your performance review was disappointing, or you're bored or not feeling like you're making a difference in the role.

While you might feel upset or angry, put your emotions to the side and politely request a meeting.

Something as simple as "I was hoping to have a quick chat to you – when might be a good time for you?" is all that's needed to set up an appropriate meeting, that will allow both you and your boss to be prepared for a potentially tricky conversation.

2. Be brief with your explanation

When the meeting comes, get straight to explaining the situation, whilst being conscious not to come across as aggressive.

Whether you've found another job, or you're quitting because your work situation is untenable, it's tempting to make a long list of all the ways you've been mistreated or things that you think the manager or organisation should improve.

While this might feel good at the time, it's easy for this to degenerate, and for you to say things you might later regret. A short explanation of how you're feeling, and the main reason for your decision is probably best for everyone.

The Handel Group, a life-coaching organisation that has come up with guidelines for having tough exchanges in any aspect of your life, underlines the importance of putting the person you're speaking with at ease. And one of the best ways of doing so is by acknowledging that there's more than one side to every story.

You don't need to concede that you should share equal blame, but you can admit that some fault may lie with you – even if it's simply that you didn't bring the issues up sooner.

3. Be gracious and positive

You might, quite rightfully, feel aggrieved or even hurt by your experience in the organisation, but the best resignations are gracious, and include positive words – even if this is painful.

Talk about what you've learned in the role or organisation, or what you'll take with you into future roles. Consider what your manager or other leaders in the organisation have done that have been positive.

If this is difficult, try writing out your words beforehand. What you say in this meeting will be remembered, and you don't want to burn bridges when you don't need to.

4. Ask what your boss thinks

It's likely that when you announce your resignation, your boss may feel shocked. This can be accompanied by silence, emotion or by aggressive defensiveness.

If the conversation doesn't naturally move towards your manager giving their perspective, ask for it.

See what they think about what you've told them and check whether their impression of the situation was significantly different to yours.

If they respond with anger or aggression, try to remain calm and not engage with this. You can move the conversation on to more practical issues.

5. Come to an understanding

You don't need to try to convince your boss that you're right or that they or the organisation are wrong.

The Handel Group says that successful conversations don't need to end with shared conclusions, but they should conclude with mutual understanding.

Check that your boss has understood what you've communicated. Then move on to more practical issues, such as when your final day will be, what needs to happen before then, and what you can do to assist the handover process.

Check your contact, award or enterprise agreement to see how many weeks of notice you're required to give your employer, and be understanding if they don't want you to work for the entire period (although you should still be paid for the minimum notice period).

Finally, it's worth agreeing on how you (or your boss) will tell your colleagues and others in the organisation, as well as clients or external suppliers.

6. Suggest a goodbye event or celebration

A goodbye lunch, afternoon tea or drinks with workmates is a nice way mark the end of a job, and it also shows your boss – and colleagues – that there's no hard feelings.

Have you had a particularly good or bad resignation? Please share your tips for making them easier in the comments below!

Law Thewene1970